During my initial period when I was “Under Consideration” with my Ma’am, Lady HotchKiss; She initiated a period of Higher Protocols. W/we both felt adding this level of Protocols would give me more structure which I needed.

Before I was to come over to Her home for the first time with these new Protocols in place. I had emailed asking if I could bring anything special. Ma’am replied in a brief email that all need to bring was, patience, acceptance, and desire. These three words became my mantra helping through that difficult time and others that followed.

In fact I still curl up on my “PAD” when i find the need for a little extra comfort or encouragement.

sled, Owned slave of Lady HotchKiss

7-23-09

© 2009, Lady Hotchkiss. All rights reserved.

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Mine:  Sir or Ma’am everyone until they are instructed not to by that person.  For Doms, I prefer they use the most formal name the person uses. 

I am not sure what all the sticking points are, but:

1.       The reason for not using as it implies some additional respect.  Huh? 

2.        The reason for not using as it implies some power exchange.  Huh? 

3.       Forcing my beliefs onto the receiver.  Huh?

While I “understand” the point behind the reasoning; I don’t understand how they come into play or are truly relevant.  See below for My responses:

1.       Respect v. RESPECT

a.       It seems to me that many have forgotten how to give a modicum of respect to begin a relationship.  The respect I am talking about is the respect I give everything and everyone; simple dignity for who and what they are. 

b.      YES, I fully believe that RESPECT has to be earned.  This is a different type of RESPECT though!  RESPECT is earned with me individually or through people I know and trust.

c.       For instance, there was someone in the local community that was RESPECTED by all I came in contact with and definitely by those that were Mine.  Upon meeting this person, I addressed him as SirX; and was immediately given leave to call him X.  I have seen him and HIS in a variety of setting and am beginning to RESPECT him through personal interaction. 

d.      Using an honorific only carries the “weight” that I give it or allow it to have. 

2.       Vanilla Respect v. Power Exchange

a.       I repeat, using an honorific only carries the “weight” that I give it or allow it to have.  Therefore, I chose to use common courtesy and see “Sir” as a neutral term that does not have any power exchange necessarily implied for any relationship.

b.      One of Mine refers to Me as “My Ma’am” to others ; and still manages to “Ma’am” others.

c.       There appears to be such a conscious “worry” about implied power exchange or ENSURING there is no power exchange.  The NEED for totally and almost forced equality.  (Equality is another topic though – coming soon).  I don’t want to be equal to or with ANYONE, EVER; I everyone want to be FREE of equality.

3.       Boundaries of a relationship

a.       Since when is being polite pushing your beliefs onto someone else?  Really.

b.      I have control of myself and those that are Mine.  We treat EVERYONE with dignity and respect; if others don’t appreciate that, I cannot help it.  That is their decision.

© 2009, Lady Hotchkiss. All rights reserved.

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