House of Hotchkiss » Humor http://houseofhotchkiss.com Vanilla on the outside, ONLY! Where Sadism Rules. Sun, 21 Nov 2010 02:00:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2 Are You Kathlick? http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2010/09/are-you-kathlick/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2010/09/are-you-kathlick/#comments Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:59:27 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=744 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.

They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school.

So they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.

One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?"

"Sure," said the janitor.

He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "You are now baptized!"

When they got outside, one of them asked, "'What religion do you think we are?"

The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."

"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water."

"We're not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you."

The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?"

They all joined in asking, "Yeah! What do you think that means?"

"I think it means we're Pisskopailians !"

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]]> http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2010/09/are-you-kathlick/feed/ 0 Stealing My Power?!? Not Likely. http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/stealing-my-power-not-likely/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/stealing-my-power-not-likely/#comments Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:52:55 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=547 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> I have found that while playing backgammon online . . . that not EVERYONE is focused on backgammon!  Instead, there is a rather large percentage of males that instead are interested in using backgammon as some sort of meeting place to “get” women.  I am FREQUENTLY asked about my gender, availability, and other PERSONAL information.  Recently, it was “Are you tits big or small”.  Mind you, I go to the site to play backgammon.

 

One “gentleman” was obnoxious in the chat and I had allowed him to play a game with me before I realized who he was.  Even after explaining that I wasn’t interested and that I simply wanted to play backgammon . . . all VERY nicely . . . he PERSISTEED!  OMG, how annoying!  So, when he asked Me my age . . . without thinking I typed 12!  What a rush . . . and he was STUNNED!  He verified that I wasn’t joking . . . and promptly resigned the game; leaving Me the winner on all accounts!

 

Not only did I get the rush of defeating someone that wanted to steal My power, I shook his world, I won the match, and get to tell this story for YEARS to come.

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]]> http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/stealing-my-power-not-likely/feed/ 0 Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/frost-the-inappropriate-snowman/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/frost-the-inappropriate-snowman/#comments Sat, 12 Dec 2009 19:03:54 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=465 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> Frosty is TOTALLY inappropriate and FUNNY!Frost the Inappropriate Snowman

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]]> http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/frost-the-inappropriate-snowman/feed/ 0 Mrs. Tiger Woods’ FemDom Transformation http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/mrs-tiger-woods-femdom-transformation/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/mrs-tiger-woods-femdom-transformation/#comments Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:27:53 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=455 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> I have a few suggestions for Mrs. Tiger Woods; change your name back to Elin Nordegren and Tiger’s to Mr. Elin Nordegren and start fresh.

NOW is the time to change the balance of power in your relationship.  NOW.  I have a few suggestions to help . . . let’s about poly, chastity, forced-bi, and cuckolding.

First the poly is about YOU; not him.  No one is going to want him when his cock is locked in a chastity device.  Since he seems incapable of managing his own “affairs”; manage them for him.  All you have to do is say 50% OR the chastity device . . . decision will be made.

Next the idea is for him to keep it on.  String him along and say just a few days.  Then once it is securely on; LOSE the key.  I mean it; keep that wandering dick locked.  That way you KNOW it is yours and when something happens.

He will WHINE and find articles on the internet about prostate health; IGNORE.  If his doctor says that he needs release; make him BEG and then have your personal trainer milk him and make him eat it.  Then let the chauffeur eat you and fuck you while Mr. Elin Nordegren watches.

Finally, let him lick you clean after your 10th orgasm with, Paco, the pool boy.

If you really want to KNOW where he is; put a LoJack in his vibrating butt plug.  Tell him if you think he is fucking around; you will turn the butt plug to ON randomly when he is putting.

NO MERCY!  Mrs. Tiger Woods you NEED to make FemDom Transformation; it will make you both happy!

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]]> http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/12/mrs-tiger-woods-femdom-transformation/feed/ 3 The Day the Penis asked for a Raise http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/11/the-day-the-penis-asked-for-a-raise/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/11/the-day-the-penis-asked-for-a-raise/#comments Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:00:55 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=398 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

  • I do physical labor.
  • I work at great depths.
  • I plunge headfirst into everything I do
  • I do not get weekends or public holidays off
  • I work in a damp environment
  • I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
  • I work in high temperatures
  • My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Sincerely, P. Niss

The Response

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

  • You do not work 8 hours straight.
  • You fall asleep after brief work periods.
  • You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
  • You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
  • You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
  • You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
  • You will retire well before you are 65.
  • You are unable to work double shifts.
  • You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task
  • And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
  • You have failed to rise to the occasion when needed, causing significant consternation, distress, and a need to quickly implement contingency fallback plans.
  • You do not always present an attractive appearance, and have sometimes behaved embarrassingly in public and semi-public settings.
  • Please note that extensive time, energy, and resources are already devoted to you, and as your time-in-system (longevity) increases, additional support equipment, services, and funding are likely to be required for your effective functional support.

Am hoping that you will understand the reasons for denial of your salary raise; here’s to improvement of your performance and maintaining a mutually beneficial position in the future!–

Sincerely, V. Gina

 

Shamelessly stolen!

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]]> http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/11/the-day-the-penis-asked-for-a-raise/feed/ 0 Not On My List of Kinks! http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/10/not-on-my-list-of-kinks/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/10/not-on-my-list-of-kinks/#comments Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:54:07 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=380 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>

WTF-Pics-AccidentallyBoot...

Not On My List of Kinks!

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]]> http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/10/not-on-my-list-of-kinks/feed/ 0 Infamy! http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/09/ifamy/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/09/ifamy/#comments Sun, 06 Sep 2009 17:09:45 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=278 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> boy is charged with making an entry here at least once a week, and so boy is doing so. there is, however, precious little to blog about this week. work has picked up at boy’s job which leaves less time for service to LadyH, a double edged sword. boy needs the work, boy needs the time with LadyH. events also conspired to keep boy away from Her during boy’s normally scheduled “play” time which has led to a sudden and completely unexpected state of depression. this is friday night and boy is sitting at home, alone and feeling sorry for himself which does nothing but give boy a sense of self-disgust to go along with the depression. boy has fulfilled his obligation, but sincerely hopes that LadyH considers this inappropriate for the House site and that She will delete it.

boy, Owned slave of Lady HotchKiss

7-31-09

From LadyH:  Nope . . .this entry will live in infamy!  hahahahaha.

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]]> http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/09/ifamy/feed/ 1 Painting My Toes? http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/08/painting-my-toes/ http://houseofhotchkiss.com/2009/08/painting-my-toes/#comments Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:13:24 +0000 Lady Hotchkiss http://houseofhotchkiss.com/?p=232 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> You didn’t leave me any way to contact you:

hi how are you my name is l* i live in ** ** i would like to come the ** of sept to polish your toenails for you do you have long toenails about in inch long and do you like them really long and red and do you put hardner on them email me and let me know and how much i owe you thanks.

Hope this FINDS you!

Lady HotchKiss

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